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yurikvelo• 09.07.20 14:36

57 REASONS WHY CHESS IS BETTER THAN SEX

1.A good game can last 7 hours or more and be enjoyed any time without stopping.
2.You can play correspondence games, and they can last even couple of years.
3.As soon as you finish a game, you're ready for another one.
4.There are billions of mating positions. Always NEW!
5.You can play chess on the internet and find new partners any time you like.
6.You can't catch a disease from chess. The worse than can happen to you from sitting for too long is a sore rump.
7.You don't have to chat up your opponents and send chocolates or roses before they agree to play.
8.Children can play chess well.
9.You can perform for a long time and still play chess well in old age.
10.Ugly players still get to mate.
11.Ugly opponents don't put you off your game.
12.Good players can take on hundreds of opponents at once.
13.You usually know what your next move should be in chess.
14.You can drink, smoke, and play chess simultaneously.
15.In chess, the kings and queens can directly mix.
16.No one ever complains that you're moving too fast.
17.In chess -- but not in sex -- short games are highly valued.
18.In chess your opponent has to make a move after your move.
19.Misplacing your pieces on a chessboard is inconvenient; in the bedroom, it may be illegal.
20.You don't have to kiss or hug your opponent after a game.
21.You won’t get arrested for playing chess in public
22.You can play chess in clothes.
23.In chess a quickie is often more satisfying than a long game.
24.Size doesn’t matter.
25.Miniatures are valued only in chess.
26.In chess, both players have to make moves.
27.Usually player doesn’t mind if you want play with anybody else. You don’t tell you priest you’ve played with anyone else.
28.Shortest path is valued only in chess.
29.Kings and queens of different camps easily interact with each other in chess
30.You can set up any position in chess, and play endgame immediately.
31.In chess, if your opponent resigns – you win, in sex – it’s a draw
32.In chess you can easily achieve positions with 5 or even more queens.
33.You can interrupt chess game at any time and resume it at any time.
34.You can replay chess moves if something went wrong.
35.In chess you are not disappointed if opponent queen is not in position any more.
36.Only in chess more material favours you.
37.In chess, it is not highly reccommended to play till the end.
38.In chess, you can win if your opponent did not come.
39.In chess, if you opponent touched a figure – must move it.
40.In chess, you can easy select which queen to play with: black or white.
41.You can record your moves and post them on your blog or live broadcast
42.You can play chess with that 19-year-old copper toned, brunette barista at the Starbucks downtown on 8th Street while your wife watches.
43.No one will mind if you want to play chess with child.
44.No one will mind if you want to play chess with the same gender opponent.
45.No religion mind if you play chess before marriage.
46.No government deny earning prizes and sponsorship for playing chess.
47.Your play strength is not dependent on opponent’s beauty.
48.You can play chess during periods and pregnancy.
49.You can ask computer to make move for you.
50.After you repeat position 3 times, no one will mind if you retire from game.
51.If you play draw in chess – you get at least half point, in sex you get zero.
52.You can be high ranked player, even if you play mostly draws.
53.Chess do not have conjugal duties.
54.You don’t have to call 911 if caught in zugzwang (no legal moves) position.
55.You can sacrifice piece in chess and win, in sex it looks horrible.
56.If things are too complicated you can trade pieces, in sex it complicates even more
57.Your opponent won’t call police, if handicapped. But only in chess.

Ю ★★• 09.07.20 09:32

Шахматисты - люди с огромной оперативной памятью. Безусловно, большая ОЗУ имеет отношение к интеллекту - но она не равна интеллекту. В школе меня поначалу в большинстве случаев обыгрывал в шахматы тихий троечник-одноклассник, притом, что я учился почти на отлично по всем предметам (примечание для молодёжи - без Гугла). Потом я благодаря нему натаскался в шахматы как зверь, и мы с ним сравнялись - притом, что он из троек до конца школы так и не вылез.

SudokuFan ★• 09.07.20 09:23

Пять баллов!!